Welcome to the Shared Sorrows Caring Communities. Please register and then join the conversation in any of the areas in which you have experienced a loss. Because these discussions involve sensitive topics, please make sure your comments are free of profanity and any other offensive language. We come together here to hear each other's heartaches and share each other's hurts. Comments that are offensive or judgmental will be removed by the moderator.
The Family Heritage Eulogy is the best format for someone whose primary focus in life was their family and heritage. While it includes other aspects of life, it will highlight the importance of family. Use the topics in the left panel to serve as prompts to help you in writing this eulogy. Click "Save Changes" to save the Euology. You can review it and edit it at any time from the planning central page.
Family and friends want to assist you, but often do not know how to help. This form helps you identify needs within three major areas: Personal Needs, Meals and Travel. If you do not need assistance in any of these areas, just uncheck that appropriate box. If you already have volunteers for some of these tasks, enter their names accordingly, otherwise, please leave the Volunteer spaces blank. Once you click "Publish", the HowToHelp form will appear on the EternaPage where family & friends can enter their names as volunteers for each of the tasks.
We encourage you to consider several funeral homes before choosing a provider. This worksheet is provided so that you can "interview" funeral directors asking the questions that are important to you before making a selection. Feel free to use the Red Book directory shown below to find funeral homes in your area.
Here is a helpful article about selecting a funeral home from the Better Business Bureau in St. Louis.
Help yourself to the tools and services we have assembled to assist you at this difficult time. All of the basic features are available to you free of charge with some optional upgrades.
Shared Sorrows has personal Grief Guides to help you find the most suitable and useful resources for your time of need. Resources include books, movies, online resources and discussion groups. There are also special resource sections for members of the clergy and for the US military.
Shayla Cody At 15 years of age, Shayla's mom was killed in a tragic automobile accident. Shayla says: "You can survive, and you can be stronger, but you may never forget..." To help you find the very best grief resources to meet your need, Shayla offers the following recommendations. Read More
Laura Barnes
Babies are such a beautiful blessing. I just love their smell, the softness of their skin and that unmistakable newborn cry. Ah, I couldn't wait to hold mine. I was the happiest woman on earth, and then everything changed in an instant. Read More
Rod Barnes Rod has over 30 years of pastoral ministry experience including music, preaching, teaching, counseling, and outreach. "Loss is an integral part of life, and how we embrace what has happened, will ultimately affect what will happen".Read More
James Stewart I was a primary care provider for my brother Dan during an extended illness prior to his death in 1998. It was an overwhelmingly difficult time-trying to provide for a wife and young family while needing to be with my brother 600 miles away.Read More
Terry Gooding I have served in prayer ministry for over 21 years and have opportunities to walk with people through difficult times of hurt and sorrow. My early experience with grief was at the age of 25 when my mother and sister unexpectedly passed away within a six month period ... Read More
Welcome to those serving as members of the clergy who provide comfort to the bereaved. In this section, we have included a compilation of resources to assist you. We earnestly hope that you will find these resources to be helpful and we welcome your suggestions for additional resources.
We salute those who have served in the US Armed Forces. We have compiled a group of resources to assist military members and bereaved family members at their time of loss. Since one of our founders is a veteran, we always welcome your suggestions for making this resource better.
Your selections on the navigation bar (left side of this page) will help us narrow the selection of resources that best meet your need. We welcome your feedback for additional books, please click on Contact Us link below.
Your selections on the navigation bar (left side of this page) will help us narrow the selection of resources that best meet your need. You will also find recommendations from our Grief Guides that may be of help to you. Suggestions for additional books are welcome in the "Share Resources" link below.
Your selections on the navigation bar (left side of this page will help us narrow the selection of resources that best meet your need. Movies can help to start a conversation with someone who is grieving. We welcome your feedback for additional movies, please click on Contact Us link below.
Your selections on the navigation bar (left side of this page will help us narrow the selection of resources that best meet your need. You will also find recommendations from our Grief Guides that may be of help to you. Movies can help to start a conversation with someone who is grieving. We welcome your suggestions for additional movies at the "Share Resources" link below.
Welcome to our Scriptures resource section. We currently have selected scriptures from both the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible. Your suggestions for additional scriptures are welcome in the .Share Resources. link below.
Finding tasteful, useful resources online can be difficult. We have located some helpful Internet-based resources. Please note that these resources are beyond our purview and control so we cannot provide assurances about the ongoing content that will be provided. We welcome your suggestions for additional e-sources at the .Share Resources. link below.
There are many organizations that exist to provide help and comfort for those who have experienced various types of loss. Please note that these resources are beyond our purview and control so we cannot provide assurances about the ongoing content that will be provided. We welcome your suggestions for additional organizations at the "Share Resources" link below.
Please take a moment and register before you begin using our services. Registration helps us customize your SharedSorrows experience in "remembering" your selections and preferences when you return to our site. Your email address and other personal information will remain completely confidential.
We know that you would like to provide the finest tribute for your loved one. Since we know that some funeral providers mark up their prices by 600% or more, we encourage you to consider products provided by the vendors who help make this site possible.
Our Select Providers are companies that we have interviewed and we feel that they will provide you with quality products, exceptional service and reasonable prices. If a problem should ever arise with one of our select vendors, Shared Sorrows will intervene on your behalf and assist you in seeking a satisfactory resolution. Because of the savings and the selection, we encourage you to view the caskets offered by these vendors before viewing or purchasing from a local funeral home.
The Federal Trade Commission requires that funeral homes must accept urns purchased from third-party vendors. Since funeral homes have limited selections and some funeral homes mark up the prices exorbitantly, we recommend you consider the urns available here. Note: Please be aware that "Keepsake" urns are an accessory item and do not take the place of a full-size urn.
A beautiful floral arrangement can serve as a wonderful tribute and an encouragement to a bereaved family. Flowers are not, however, always appropriate. If you would like to learn more about flower customs and etiquette, click here: Helpful Information
Keepsakes can be a lasting tribute which can be shared with family and friends. We have selected some special products for your consideration.
With the help of legal professionals, we have compiled answers to some of the most commonly asked death-care question laws in each of the 50 states. This information is provided as a free resource, for more specific information, contact your state's Consumer Protection Division.
SharedSorrows brings together people from across the USA who, like you, are grieving. There is no reason to walk this path alone when there are others who may help.or be helped by you. We encourage you to share your feelings, but avoid profanity or any type of inappropriate conversation. From time to time, our Grief Guides will participate and facilitate the conversations.
Knowing the pain of loss, Carol McDonald has prepared a CaringMoment™ to give you insight, encouragement and inspiration as you cope with a loss. Simply provide us with your name and email address and we will email you a new thought each morning. Recipients can unsubscribe at any time. Rest assured that your email address will not be used for any other purpose.
Emotions and time pressures can make communications difficult. Shared Sorrows makes it easier for family & friends to stay in touch and insures that everyone in your care community will be made aware of the passing and the funeral arrangements—and best of all, these services are free!
Make travel arrangements and use other helpful travel resources.
We have selected providers to meet your financial, legal, and counseling needs.
Shared Sorrows provides the resources you need when you have just suffered a loss. We can help you commemorate your
loved one's life, share in your time of loss and assist in creating forever memories, easily and without pressure.
This Illustrator will help you balance your desire to provide fitting services and tributes with the available financial resources. Simply enter an estimate into each of the boxes below and the result will be your targeted financial obligations. Note: The funeral services need not be the final tribute or remembrance of your loved one. We encourage you to find an appropriate charity to carry on your loved one's name and passions.
The tools below will help simplify the planning process. We recommend that you begin with the Financial Considerations if budgetary constraints are important. You can review a summary of the applicable laws at State Law Summary followed by finding funeral homes in your area through the National Funeral Directory. The Funeral Home SelectorTM will help identify your specific needs and select the most appropriate facility. FamilyAssistTM lets you identify ways in which family and friends can assist you and the Charity Assist tools will help you select a fitting charity for memorial gifts.
Shared Sorrows provides the resources you need when you have just suffered a loss. We can help you commemorate your loved one's life, share in your time of loss and assist in creating forever memories, easily and without pressure.
This directory can help you locate nearby funeral homes. We recommend that you use our Funeral Home Guide to assist you in the selection process. Note: All of the fields below are optional- we recommend that you search by Zip code or city.
The Funeral Home SelectorTM tool you will find below will help you find the funeral home that will best meet your needs. We recommend that you complete the form and let a family member or trusted friend call several local funeral homes to determine which one meets the needs you have indentified on the Selector form.
Our FamilyAssistTM Planner will help you identify your needs so that family and friends can meet those needs during these stressful days. Once you have completed the Planner, we suggest that you click the Generate PDF button and then email the PDF version of this planner to a family member or trusted friend who will coordinate the volunteers' efforts.
If you need assistance in selecting a charity to which family and friends can make contributions, we offer you these sites to help you make a well-informed decision.
We encourage you to contact us with any questions and/or comments. We are continually improving our services and this site so that we can meet your needs and make a difficult process easier.
Welcome to Shared Sorrows. If you have experienced the loss of a family member or friend, we extend heartfelt sympathy. We created this site because of our own losses and our desire to make the process easier, less expensive yet more meaningful. Many of our services are free; there is no "catch". We only ask that you consider purchasing from the vendors who make the site possible. Thank you.
Shared Sorrows is pleased to offer you a wealth of planning tools and resources which include important checklists, an easy to use funeral planning guide, travel, legal, financial and chaplain services as well as useful directories and helpful information. Best of all, most of these tools and information are free! There is no fine print. We simply ask that you support our preferred providers who make this site possible.
Our free, easy-to-use tools will assist you in creating the following:
We can help you create a fitting memorial to honor your loved one. We will also facilitate communications between family & friends as well as provide for your own grief care needs when you have suffered a loss.
The Memorial Page you create can remain on our site for as long as you wish.
For many families, funeral expenses may be the third largest expenditure besides a home and vehicle.
Our CareFund™ allows family and friends to contribute to funeral expenses in situations where these expenses are an excessive burden for the family.
Welcome to the Resource Center. If you do not wish to use the EternaPlan, but would like to use individual components instead, you will find most those tools available here.
Allow us to help you find funeral homes, crematoriums, churches and cemeteries in your area.
Traditionally, a family member or other responsible party purchases a casket or urn and other essentials. The Federal Trade Commission allows you to purchase caskets or urns from third-party providers or from a funeral home.
Bereavement travel is generally expensive because it is “last minute” — and it can be complicated due to family and friends converging from various locations. We can help you with travel arrangements and have a number of helpful free travel tools. If you wish to make your own travel arrangements, we have provided the links below. Because of the urgent nature of your travel, we recommend that you use trained professionals available at 1-800-369-2649.
We have prepared a list of food service providers to assist during this difficult time. You may wish to contact these providers yourself or include them as preferences on the HowToHelp™ page so that others in your care community can make purchases on your behalf.
Legal issues often arise in the advent of the passing of a loved one. Our legal services providers and resources can help you.
We can help you learn more about military as well as religious and ethnic traditions and customs.
Communicating with family and friends in the aftermath of a loss can be difficult and stressful.
While newspaper obituaries are a temporary memorial, our EternaPage assists you in creating thoughtful, lasting memories.
We are pleased to offer you several wonderful resources to assist you and those you love through the grief process.
As you reach out to bereaved family members or friends, we can help you know the right words to say, the most fitting tributes to provide and helpful information if you will be attending funeral services. Your presence—whether in person, by phone or written communication—is a wonderful gift to those who have experienced a loss.
Providing food will sustain and encourage those who grieve.
Care and encouragement for you ― and others who grieve.
Grief affects us emotionally, physically and spiritually. We have resources to meet the needs in each of these areas.
We have assembled all of the necessary services, tools and information to help you create a beautiful plan.
Let us help you find reliable vendors and provide you with information to assist you in making decisions.
Communicating the news of a loss is difficult. Family & friends want to help―but often don’t know how. Our easy-to-use communication tools can make the communication process easier for all.
The prices shown below are representative (not actual) costs. As you interview funeral homes, you can replace the numbers shown below to update your total. Once you complete this worksheet, include the total in the Financial Allocation Illustrator below and evaluate your total needs. If you find that your needs exceed your available resources, we recommend you consider our CareFund™ or a funeral loan.
The average cost of a casket according to one source is $2,400. We have evaluated the online providers and we believe that the best values are available from the providers listed below.
Planning and attending the funeral, selecting flowers and paying honorariums can be intimidating if you are not familiar with established customs and protocols. Please review some standard etiquette recommendations below.
by Kristen Hamlin, USA Today
We can assist you in creating a respectful and fitting EternaPage™. This page will contain only information that you choose to make available. You may choose to include a Notice of Passing, Funeral Notice, and Obituary plus make use of our unique HowToHelp™ which communicates your needs to family and friends. If you do not plan to create an EternaPage™, Making Memories can still assist you in writing a Notice of Passing, Funeral Notice, eulogy, obituary or related documents.
Before you select a funeral home, we recommend that you complete this form and use it to help you select the funeral home that will best meet your needs. Once completed, we recommend that you or a trusted friend or another family member use the completed form to select the best funeral home.
Shared Sorrows has prepared this Post-Funeral checklist to assist you in the days and weeks following the passing of a loved one. If you have just experienced a loss, we recommend our Time-of-Loss Checklist. We have included text boxes after each item so that you can place the name of a family member or friend who may assist with this task as well as for other notes you may wish to include. Once you have completed the form, email it to yourself and anyone else who will be assisting you.
In the hours following a loss, it can be difficult to focus on what must be done. Shared Sorrows has prepared this Time-of-Loss Checklist to assist you. If possible, delegate some of these tasks to other family or trusted friends. We have included a text box after each task for you to place a name and/or any notes you may wish to include. Once you have completed the form, email it to yourself and anyone else who will be assisting you. We also recommend that you use our Post-Funeral Checklist in the days after your loved one has been laid to rest.
By creating a free EternaPage™, you will provide family and friends with a place to share memories and more. The process is very easy to use and can be completed quickly. Please provide the information requested below concerning the Decedent and then click Continue to see the new EternaPage™. What's an EternaPage™
Please register by providing the information requested below. Your registration in our syste allows you full use of all of the tools and resources available in our site. Planning and Memorialization services on our site are free of charge thanks to the vendors who offer their products on our site. We encourage you to consider their products. All information below will remain confidential and will not be sold or provided to any third parties.
Here you will have access to all the tools to make a fitting memorial for your loved one. If you are here for the first time, please register a new decedent to get started. The process is very easy and can be completed quickly. After you have registered a decedent you will be able to set up an EternaPage™, start an EternaPlan™, and create memorial documents for your loved one.
Please change or add to the existing text and then click Save to create a Notice of Passing.
SharedSorrows™ can help you prepare a fitting eulogy. Traditionally, a pastor, family member or close friend will read the eulogy at the funeral service. It is best best to write a eulogy that can be read or recited in about 10 minutes. A well-prepared eulogy will paint a life-portrait of the individual, highlighting his or her areas or interest, achievement or passion. To begin, select one of the life-focus templates below. Professional writers are available to help you write the perfect tribute.
Because the passing of an infant is particularly painful, we created a special obituary wizard to help you tell the special story of your child.
Because the passing of a child is particularly painful, we created a special obituary wizard to help you tell the special story of your child.
Our Chronological Obituary wizard is best if you wish to present the Decedent's life story in a timeline order. This format is especially helpful when there have been formative events that shaped the rest of the person's life.
The Family Heritage Obituary Wizard will help you write an obituary for a person who took great pride in their family including their ancestry, spouse, offspring and/or traditions and historical values.
Our Career-Oriented Obituary Wizard best serves individuals who were passionate about their career or other life-pursuits.
Our Life Experiences Obituary focuses on a life that was eventful and colorful.
Please complete the following information and then click the button at the bottom of the page. This will publish a Funeral Notice on your Planning Central page and also on the EternaPage™. By opening the Funeral Notice in Planning Central, you will be able to email or print the notice.
Our Military Service Obituary Wizard focuses on a life dedicated to the noble service of preserving and protecting the freedoms we cherish.
An EternaPage allows you to share your thoughts and also will display only information that you choose to make available. You may choose to include a Notice of Passing, Funeral Notice and Obituary plus make use of our unique HowToHelp™ tool which communicates your needs to family and friends.
A Notice of Passing notifies family and friends
of a passing.
After you register a decedent, you will be redirected to My Planning Central where you can use our document wizard to create one. Click 'Begin here' below.
An Obituary will help you create a lasting
tribute.
After you register a decedent, you will be redirected to My Planning Central where you can use our document wizard to create one. Click 'Begin here' below.
A Funeral Notice provides family and friends with funeral service information.
After you register a decedent, you will be redirected to My Planning Central where you can use our document wizard to create one. Click 'Begin here' below.
An Eulogy will paint a life-portrait of the individual, highlighting his or her areas or interest, achievement or passion.
After you register a decedent, you will be redirected to My Planning Central where you can use our document wizard to create one. Click 'Begin here' below.
HowToHelp™ allows you to communicate your needs to friends and family who wish to help. After you register a decedent, you will be redirected to My Planning Central where you can use our document wizard to create one. Click 'Begin here' below.
Our goal is to assist you in five critical areas when a loved one passes away. Most of our tools and services are provided to you free of charge. We only ask that you consider the vendors shown on our site when you purchase products and services.
Through our affiliation with Marketplace Chaplains USA, we can assist you and your family when seeking someone to officiate at a funeral service. Our chaplains are well trained, professional, and a trusted resource. They will help you honor your loved ones and provide comfort to all who grieve. Four of our chaplains are shown below.
Please contact us for chaplain availability and rates.
Toll Free: (888) 670-9323
We are forever indebted to the men and women who have served in the Armed Forces of the United States and their families. We have prepared separate resource centers for each branch of the military. These resources will be helpful to military personnel as well as clergy and others who are called upon to preside over military services.
Shared Sorrows offers you professional writers who create lasting tributes including eulogies, obituaries, and custom poetry. Since newspaper obituaries appear for just a few days, we encourage you to create a lasting memorial for your loved one right here on our site.
Our professional writers can help you paint a word portrait of your loved one that will endure through the ages. Whether you need a eulogy, obituary or other written tribute, we can help. To begin, please select a service package and then a writer that will meet your needs. The writers will communicate with you and other members of the family if you wish either by email, telephone or both.
Thank you for your donation! Nothing is more encouraging than to know that there are people in this world who still care about others—even others they do not know.
We are not a tax-exempt organization, so your donation is not tax-deductible. We will use the funds for the worthy cause for which you gave them. If you ever have questions, please feel free to ask at Donations@SharedSorrows.com.
Thank you.
Every dollar contributed will be used to assist needy veterans and memorialize their service to our country. Your donation can help meet these needs, honor our veterans and preserve their legacies this Veteran’s Day.
It is important to know what to expect when you attend a funeral. Customs and protocols vary depending on religious beliefs, military traditions, family preferences and other considerations. We have prepared this Customs & Protocols section to help you feel more at ease when attending a funeral
You may have wondered, “What should I say to the bereaved family and what should I not say?” “What clothes are appropriate for a funeral?” We have prepared answers for these and other common questions.
If you are making funeral arrangements, or just attending a funeral service, you may hear terminology used that is not familiar to you. We have prepared a list of the common terms and a brief description of each.
Funerals can be a difficult time for everyone involved and it is very easy to misstep by not familiarizing yourself with religious customs before attending. We hope that this comprehensive overview has given you some insight on the appropriate customs for a funeral of any denomination or religious persuasion.
Shared Sorrows welcomes advertising inquires from vendors and service providers who can provide exceptional goods and services at reasonable prices for those who have, or soon will, experience the loss of a loved one. You will join a growing community of providers who make our services available free of charge.
Current advertising venues are shown below.
Please contact Jessica DeHoyos for further information, rates and specifications
In years to come, family, friends and many others will learn about your loved one by reading their obituary. Traditional newspaper obituaries are restrictive in both space and time. Shared Sorrows allows you plenty of space and encourages you to write a “word portrait” for your loved one. And, while newspaper obituaries could not be amended, we recommend that you update the obituary to include reflections on the funeral services. Professional writers are available to help you write the perfect tribute.
Michelle is available for special consultations regarding cremation services and tributes. If you would like to schedule a time to talk with Michelle, please select a time below and follow the directions that follow.
Please note a debit or credit card is required to complete the consultation appointment. Appointments will be $75 for one hour of service.
best selling author of
Exit Strategy: Thinking Outside the Box
Michelle Cromer grew up in Texas. She is a wife and mom, bestselling author, salsa dancer in training, and former partner at Sanders Wingo Advertising. Michelle conducts workshops in which participants learn how to tap into a deep well of spirituality, serenity, and purpose. A woman of contradictions, Michelle believes that spirituality and capitalism can co-exist, that you have to sit still to get somewhere, and that – despite her best efforts – there are still some questions for which the answers only come when you stop asking. Michelle graduated from Abilene Christian University with a BA in finance. She lives with her husband and two boys in El Paso, Texas.
For more information, visit: www.michellecromer.com.
Cremation has been used since prehistoric times and in many cultures it is preferred over burial. The ancient Greeks believed that burning a body freed the soul. Cremation is far less expensive than a traditional burial and environmentally, it is preferred. Many people keep their loved one's ashes in an urn, but today you are only limited by your imagination as to what to do with cremated remains.
While writing my bestselling book Exit Strategy: Thinking Outside the Box, I met people who were having their loved one’s ashes blown into beautiful glass creations, sending them into space and turning them into diamonds. Whatever options you want to explore, it is clear to me that the opportunity to carry out your own and your loved ones' personal exit strategy can be a deeply moving and emotionally satisfying experience. I would be honored to help you plan your exit strategy!
There are a number of financial terms that may arise in your discussions surrounding the loss of a loved one. This glossary will help you become familiar with some of the most commonly used terms.
After the cremation, there are many unique ways in which the ashes can be used for a special tribute. Here are some providers for your consideration.
In recent years cremation has become more popular in US culture.
Cremation expert Michelle Cromer can assist you with creative and meaningful cremation arrangements.
Shared Sorrows has prepared this brief overview of the legal process known as probate. This process which follows the death of a loved one varies from state to state, but this overview will help you understand how to prepare and what to expect
Legal issues often arise before and after the loss of a loved one. We prepared this list of common probate terms so you will have a better understanding of their meaning.
Shared Sorrows recommends that you retain an attorney to assist you with the legal uses that arise following the death of a loved one. This is not necessary in all cases, but since many attorneys offer a free initial consultation, we recommend that you make use of their offer.
During his years of service as a probate judge, Max Higgs developed a reputation for caring about “the little people” in the legal system. He has prepared two great free resources for you: Guide to the Probate Process and How to Choose a Lawyer. Our State Law Summaries and Common Legal Terms will also help you in probate and estate matters. Read the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule here.
Shared Sorrows would like to recognize and honor exceptional hospice workers and agencies.
Please complete the nomination form below. Shared Sorrows will contact the agency to notify them of the nomination and in most cases will issue a Certificate of Distinction based upon your nomination and be added to our Hall of Honor.
Nominations will be accepted from hospice patients, their family and friends, or hospice coworkers. No self-nominations, please.
Our Hospice Resources are designed to assist and encourage you as you provide care and comfort in the last hours of life. Please help yourself to the resources below.
We welcome your feedback so that we can better assist you as you provide care to your patients and their families.
You will often hear people speak of grief as a journey or a process. We encourage you to become acquainted with the stages of grief that most of us will encounter on the journey.
Shared Sorrows wants to make sure you get counseling that will truly meet your grief care needs, so we prepared this brief guide to selecting a counselor. .
An EternaPlan™ will create a Funeral Directive like the one shown below. You can use this Directive to provide direction to the funeral home and other providers. We recommend that you take 10-15 minutes to create a funeral plan using EternaPlan™—our free, easy to use planning tool.
After you register a decedent, you will be redirected to My Planning Central where you can use our document wizard to create one. Click 'Begin here' below.
We have prepared a cost illustration of four common types of funeral services. The costs shown are national averages based on the best information available to us. You can use this as a guide when you are planning a funeral or just to get an idea of the costs involved.
Most funeral homes insist on payment at the time services are provided. This can create a hardship for many families, so Shared Sorrows offers the following funding alternatives.
As the former Vice President of Counseling and Financial Literacy in the Dave Ramsey organization, The Lampo Group, Brian offers a wealth of financial wisdom combined with compassion for those who are responsible for financial arrangements when a loved one passes away.
Brian has compiled the following resources to help you.
We have tried to anticipate your questions, so please take a minute and review the categories below. If you see your question listed, just click on the question and the answer will appear. If you do not see your question listed, please email us at info@SharedSorrows.com
